You gave me roses,
I gave you the thorns.
You gave me strength,
I gave you hurt.
You gave me happiness,
I gave you worries.
So I am giving you my soul.
Do you have a toddler?
24hrs seems to be not enough for you?
Your inspiration and enthusiasm towards your goal are diminishing?
Can’t bring your life back to how it was before they born?
Most new parents go through this situation. Here are the 5 tips to motivate yourself to work towards your goal.
Your Life had a big transformation before you starting to realise this. When you held that newborn in your hands for the first time, a part of your brain has been activated with a strange feeling. Feeling of “Love”. A kind of Love you never experienced until that day. It’s not the same as you Love your wife or partner. The depth of this Love is so deep as you can’t explain to the world. You became a part of the creation called “Life”. Majority of the people get so stressed about being a parent as they don’t understand the change. Either they are scared or worried about the wellbeing of the little one. The only fact you have to accept is that they came into life without you even knowing it. For almost 9 months they show us how connected we are on this beautiful planet. Once they are in your hands they started to live their Life. Any complications or challenging situations come, their body is prepared for that. With the advanced medical facilities, we just have to let them live it.
As Stan Groff mentioned, “They are a clean slate”. Our job is to explore the journey with them. Support them to express their emotions. All the tiring days and sleepless nights are part of it. There is no running away from it. Have you ever tried to listen to the beautiful squeaky noises they make during the nights when everything around us is quiet? Try it.
Have a moment to accept that YOU are the people she relies on. If you still haven’t realized this truth, it’s not too late. The magic of being with them happen even if it’s an early morning nappy change or they want to play at 3 am.
2.Learn from them
This digital world with modern techniques and tools we assume we have the best methods to raise our child. Truth is we are wrong, there is no right or wrong way of parenting. How your kids growing is a reflection of YOU as a parent. The best way I practice is to Learn from them. Let them express their feelings. Be with them and tell them its okay to feel such and make them feel that you are always around them.
When you feel that anger or tiredness or selfless moments with your baby, just leave them in a safe place where there is no danger. Watch them or even leave them with your family and take a 5 min break. But you must come back and explain to them ” I was having a moment. but I am ok now”. They listen to every single word you speak and every emotion you express. As I mentioned earlier they are a “clean slate”. Their brain is feeding on what’s happening around them, the smell, the sensation, the sounds and feelings from you. If you watch and learn from them, how they start exploring their hands and body it’s amazing. Watch them for 10 – 15 mins every day when they are playing. Keep your phones away when you are with them. Give a bit of detox from your daily hectic time being with them. This is the best stress reliever. This creates a bond with you. If you can’t listen to your baby, How do you expect them to listen to you when they grow up. They don’t have an understanding of what listening means as you didn’t give them an opportunity to listen.
If you are weak in handling them, they feel that weakness. One of my friends called me recently who had a baby girl asking advice ” She keeps crying when she is in my hands. She only stops when my wife takes her.” I replied, ” If you don’t have the confidence to accept your baby as a reflection of you, then she will feel the same. Try to calm yourself and tell yourself that I can handle this.” After a week he called back and said ” That worked. It was me who was panicking, there was no problem with the baby. I didn’t make her feel safe in my hands as I was tensed.”
No matter whatever you do in Life if you don’t have the guts to feel that level of confidence, that’s exactly your baby is going to be. Show them your LOVE and make them feel that they are being Loved. They will understand YOU.
The first few months of newborn parenting is the tough one. Especially if it’s your first child. You have no idea how things are going to change around you. How many books or articles you read when you have that heart beating living organism in your hands “its a wonder”. You must be persistent in giving them your love. All the frustrations arise will subside if you just keep loving them. Train yourself to breathe and pause in tough moments. To start its a challenge. However, once you have started it will come to you. YOU will see the changes in the baby when you give them those moments. Give them as many cuddles and kisses you can. That’s the connection you need to build up with them. A hectic work schedule by dropping the babies in the nursery are unavoidable. But you can fix 15 minutes of your 24 hours to your little ones. This time make them feel that daddy or mummy is gonna be with me for that period. But you must be full with them, just to listen and watch what they like to show you. Eventually, they will learn how to be persistent in their life.
5. Meditation – Mindfulness for clarity and awareness.
Mindfulness is the practice of being in full awareness of your present moment. ie, Thoughts, emotions, feelings & physical sensations.
Recent years studies related to mindfulness are making a big shift in peoples life. If you can practice the habit of meditation for 1 min will help 100% in your daily life. Gradually increase the time to 5 or 10 minutes. Don’t expect any specific results quickly, but it will change how you feel every day. If you never tried meditation the best way is to start with a guided meditation. Use apps like Headspace or Waking Up. The key to mindfulness is by coming back to do the practice even if you break the habit by a busy schedule. When you remember about it sit for a minute and pause.
Best way to start a quick meditation is when you have your baby in your hands. Follow their breathing, breath with them. Keep doing that for a minute or more. You feel that deep bond of life, the same air you both breathe and you can hear her heart beating. I do this when I put my baby to sleep. A moment in our day when you both are synchronised. Try it.
All the best with putting the above to action. We all follow and read many articles daily but only 1% take some action. Try the above for at least 7 days.
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Good Deeds, Good Thoughts, Good Actions.
One evening we were discussing “lets drive somewhere”.
We didn’t finalize a place, we just drove. After passing Maidstone we saw a board with “Blue Bell Hill”.
Suddenly I remembered about the story of BBH. There was a tragic car accident in 1965, where two cars collided and 3 women out of 4 died. One of those women were getting married the following day. In 1969, 1974 and 1992 incidents were reported by the appearance of a “Girl in Wedding Dress”. Please read this news and watch the video.
Credits to : Haunted Rooms.co.uk & Youtube.com: Mystic Spirit Channel
So yes we both agreed lets go there and see. It was about 3pm then. After few turns and hills we found a cap park for BBH.
We both were stunned at the first view!! Its nearly 2 years were living in Maidstone and how come we didnt come to this place before.
We completely forgot about the scary bit by then.
A selfie in Blue Bell Hill.
We could see the whole Maidstone from top of this hill. I suddenly opened Google Maps and located BBH. Its massive!! We were only on, one edge of it. We then walked towards a board with details about this place. Its a chalk Hill.
We then sat on the bench and enjoyed the view. It was cold but we were lost in the spectacular view.
Blue Bell Hill Sunset.
We had some usual chats about the world beyond us and other random stuff. Unexpectedly Infront of us I found a small bush and a bunch of flowers on it. Someone purposefully kept it there. I jumped off from bench and went down there and what I found was a tearful message.
A note for DAD.
This was a note from a son or a daughter for “A Special DAD”. It was so touching. I tried to take a snap of the flowers along with the view of BBH. Later when we were coming to the car we found there was a helicopter crash in 1998 and three air ambulance crew died there. I guess the message was from one of their relative. There is a memorial stone with the names of who died.
As the sun was going down and it was getting colder we were heading back. On the way we found few small steps and we decided “lets explore”.
Steps to the Downs
We had a good view of the Maidstone and we were discussing about where will be our house. After few silly arguments we pointed out to the far and said ” Yes there it is !!” 😛
I managed to click few more snaps with the sun and sky as the backdrop.
Sun as my backdrop.
We got into the car, switched on the heating and waited for the sun to go down. This was the last min view from our car window.
Sun goes down.
We decided to come back here in summer with our mates and family. All these time we completely forgot about the scary story though. There was nothing scary. We reversed our car and drove off before it was completely dark. We didn’t wanted a lady in a white dress to ask us a lift. 🙂
We hope you are enjoying this blog. We thought of adding few helpful thoughts from our daily life. I read a book, I mean heard a book. When I read I always sleep, so I found a way to read one. Audiobooks!! I downloaded audible app and this book 4HWW (4 Hour Work Week)
Listening to audiobooks is more easier for me. I guess if anyone reading this, try this app and read your own books. You will love it.
I heard it twice, this is the first book which I read for twice. Still cant believe. I came to know about this book in 2015, I regret that I wasted one year by not reading in that time.
About the book 4HWW; it was written by Tim Ferris a genius and a master mind. Hes a billionaire now. He have invested in Facebook, Alibaba and Uber. But before he became a billionaire he used some tricks and tips to reach there. Some of you might find its not possible, But he proved it, as Possible. I am not blabbing about it. Give a try!! If you like it then Let me know!! He have a Podcast also. Checkout his blog:http://tim.blog
Taking this oppurtunity to thank Tim Ferris for being an inspirer.
Currently I am finishing Steve Jobs autobiography Audiobook.
Until next time!!
Peace & Love
Next Blog: Derby Diaries
Originally published at www.kapparte.com on February 28, 2017.