You gave me roses,
I gave you the thorns.
You gave me strength,
I gave you hurt.
You gave me happiness,
I gave you worries.
So I am giving you my soul.
Do you have a toddler?
24hrs seems to be not enough for you?
Your inspiration and enthusiasm towards your goal are diminishing?
Can’t bring your life back to how it was before they born?
Most new parents go through this situation. Here are the 5 tips to motivate yourself to work towards your goal.
Your Life had a big transformation before you starting to realise this. When you held that newborn in your hands for the first time, a part of your brain has been activated with a strange feeling. Feeling of “Love”. A kind of Love you never experienced until that day. It’s not the same as you Love your wife or partner. The depth of this Love is so deep as you can’t explain to the world. You became a part of the creation called “Life”. Majority of the people get so stressed about being a parent as they don’t understand the change. Either they are scared or worried about the wellbeing of the little one. The only fact you have to accept is that they came into life without you even knowing it. For almost 9 months they show us how connected we are on this beautiful planet. Once they are in your hands they started to live their Life. Any complications or challenging situations come, their body is prepared for that. With the advanced medical facilities, we just have to let them live it.
As Stan Groff mentioned, “They are a clean slate”. Our job is to explore the journey with them. Support them to express their emotions. All the tiring days and sleepless nights are part of it. There is no running away from it. Have you ever tried to listen to the beautiful squeaky noises they make during the nights when everything around us is quiet? Try it.
Have a moment to accept that YOU are the people she relies on. If you still haven’t realized this truth, it’s not too late. The magic of being with them happen even if it’s an early morning nappy change or they want to play at 3 am.
2.Learn from them
This digital world with modern techniques and tools we assume we have the best methods to raise our child. Truth is we are wrong, there is no right or wrong way of parenting. How your kids growing is a reflection of YOU as a parent. The best way I practice is to Learn from them. Let them express their feelings. Be with them and tell them its okay to feel such and make them feel that you are always around them.
When you feel that anger or tiredness or selfless moments with your baby, just leave them in a safe place where there is no danger. Watch them or even leave them with your family and take a 5 min break. But you must come back and explain to them ” I was having a moment. but I am ok now”. They listen to every single word you speak and every emotion you express. As I mentioned earlier they are a “clean slate”. Their brain is feeding on what’s happening around them, the smell, the sensation, the sounds and feelings from you. If you watch and learn from them, how they start exploring their hands and body it’s amazing. Watch them for 10 – 15 mins every day when they are playing. Keep your phones away when you are with them. Give a bit of detox from your daily hectic time being with them. This is the best stress reliever. This creates a bond with you. If you can’t listen to your baby, How do you expect them to listen to you when they grow up. They don’t have an understanding of what listening means as you didn’t give them an opportunity to listen.
If you are weak in handling them, they feel that weakness. One of my friends called me recently who had a baby girl asking advice ” She keeps crying when she is in my hands. She only stops when my wife takes her.” I replied, ” If you don’t have the confidence to accept your baby as a reflection of you, then she will feel the same. Try to calm yourself and tell yourself that I can handle this.” After a week he called back and said ” That worked. It was me who was panicking, there was no problem with the baby. I didn’t make her feel safe in my hands as I was tensed.”
No matter whatever you do in Life if you don’t have the guts to feel that level of confidence, that’s exactly your baby is going to be. Show them your LOVE and make them feel that they are being Loved. They will understand YOU.
The first few months of newborn parenting is the tough one. Especially if it’s your first child. You have no idea how things are going to change around you. How many books or articles you read when you have that heart beating living organism in your hands “its a wonder”. You must be persistent in giving them your love. All the frustrations arise will subside if you just keep loving them. Train yourself to breathe and pause in tough moments. To start its a challenge. However, once you have started it will come to you. YOU will see the changes in the baby when you give them those moments. Give them as many cuddles and kisses you can. That’s the connection you need to build up with them. A hectic work schedule by dropping the babies in the nursery are unavoidable. But you can fix 15 minutes of your 24 hours to your little ones. This time make them feel that daddy or mummy is gonna be with me for that period. But you must be full with them, just to listen and watch what they like to show you. Eventually, they will learn how to be persistent in their life.
5. Meditation – Mindfulness for clarity and awareness.
Mindfulness is the practice of being in full awareness of your present moment. ie, Thoughts, emotions, feelings & physical sensations.
Recent years studies related to mindfulness are making a big shift in peoples life. If you can practice the habit of meditation for 1 min will help 100% in your daily life. Gradually increase the time to 5 or 10 minutes. Don’t expect any specific results quickly, but it will change how you feel every day. If you never tried meditation the best way is to start with a guided meditation. Use apps like Headspace or Waking Up. The key to mindfulness is by coming back to do the practice even if you break the habit by a busy schedule. When you remember about it sit for a minute and pause.
Best way to start a quick meditation is when you have your baby in your hands. Follow their breathing, breath with them. Keep doing that for a minute or more. You feel that deep bond of life, the same air you both breathe and you can hear her heart beating. I do this when I put my baby to sleep. A moment in our day when you both are synchronised. Try it.
All the best with putting the above to action. We all follow and read many articles daily but only 1% take some action. Try the above for at least 7 days.
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Good Deeds, Good Thoughts, Good Actions.
Mitun is a friend of mine who has imagination and creativity. However, the social phobia of being wrong made him express these thoughts very less. I started capturing his texts and quotes for the last 2 years.
This is dedicated to Mitun, who soon will be taking a plunge to the society of today with his wisdom. All credits are going to his vision of the world. I have made some grammar corrections to his original texts.
” We all are Broken, That’s how the light gets in”.Ernest Hemingway
Each n every person we know..
Talk about newtons theory.. ” every action is having the same opposite reaction”… if the theory is right then the reaction, it cant be stoppable.. at least for a time period,.It must be infinite.. ☠.. it regains its position….it works like a pendulum.. 😬 the action.. ” the action may be certain.. Possible.. I’m not sure. 🦇If That theory is correcbut..
Something is missing, without energy to push or pull, it won’t work😇
This is my first ever podcast.. As an amateur this is my experiment to
find out the listeners of the world who can benefit a bit from my life.
This episode was recorded on on 8th May 2018 the day after my interview for an Asst Manager for The Works.co.uk. My wife was pregnant at that time. Without this my future plans with baby wont financially help. However, I didn’t get the job. To overcome my defeating inner chats, I went for a cycle ride on Med way riverside walk in Kent. I managed to help a guy who lost his phone.He was searching for it in the grass for more than 30 mins and I managed to find it in less than 1 min. It taught me a big lesson how to learn from failures, if I don’t learn from it, I will never grow.
Thank you for stopping by.
I see them everyday,
I felt their love,that was stronger than the wind in the park,
I am patiently waiting to be in their warm hands,
Their words, looks, touches and emotions are comforting me,
They are happy with their friends now, I am glad that they took me there with them,
They are capturing this precious and beautiful moments with me to show me later,
I can feel their struggle, everyday to complete me,
I make them more tired, but they share those tiredness together by hugging me,
I love them more than they love me now,
I can’t wait to call them Mum & Dad.
Click on the image to enlarge.
If you are interested to receive an update for similar post please subscribe. I promise i will not send any spams or share your info with anyone else. That will be the last thing on my list. Please do leave any comments or feedback. Lets grow together.
Good thoughts, Good Deeds, Good actions.
Hope you a are doing very well.
The sun is shining, flowers are blooming,
The days are clearer, nights are getting warmer.
Today, we writing about a short visit to Derbyshire.
We were meeting my cousin brother there. He recently moved to UK for his Masters In Engineering.
An inspirational character by attitude and a fighter by nature. Though he is limited in wheelchair, his vision and dreams are beyond the wheels. If you wanna know more about this guy please visit: https://goo.gl/z21RkD
A three hours+ evening drive with some fighting over our likes and dislikes. What we realized that day, was we are allowed for such thoughts. As long as we understand the conclusion.
It will be only “US”( relationship ) in the end!!
We made a last minute booking with an affordable price at International Hotel Derby. http://www.international-hotel.co.uk
International Hotel Derby
International Hotel Derby- Inside
International Hotel Derby- Inside
Room was cosy enough to sleep a night. The beddings were clean and tidy. An average Hotel for the price.
International Hotel Derby- Window View
The view from our window wasn’t that exceptional, but was better than and normal hotel backyard. I hated the light from the window curtains in the morning.
International Hotel Derby- Toilet
After a free full breakfast from the restaurant downstairs we drove to my cousins. I asked Lidia to go to cuz room while I grab the bags from the car. I was lying to her, I ran to the corner Sainsburys and was searching for few Gifts!!
Yes I haven’t prepared anything for her. Its always like that. When it comes to my closed ones, always have excuses and inner chats of why to give any presents. Later it turns out to a regret! This time I didn’t let my regrets to take me over. I bought a pack of apple pie, candles, a small indoor desk plant with a red nose headband.
By the time I had few calls and messages from her saying why I lied to her and asked to come back to the room. 😛
The day before I cooked some “Payasam” a traditional Kerala dish we make for special occasions, which I didn’t tell her about. My aunt helped me to warm it up and serve. We walked into the room with apple pie, lighted candles and payasam. Though it wasn’t a surprise, we all managed to make it up as a surprise .:)
Birthday Pie- Lidia
Everyone enjoyed the payasam, not the pie. After some usual Bday selfies we were ready for a window shopping in Derby Towncentre. It was cold, we all marched passing by a small canal and a some street artists works.
Derby Street Arts
Derby Street Arts
My aunt innocently asked ” Why Am I taking the Photos of those posters”. I said, ” Its just a piece of Art”. I am sure she didn’t had a clue what I was saying.
We were browsing through few shops and then we reached a place all three of us got lost!!
@the music store — Derby
Lidia’s excitement for Guns and Roses where high and Arun lost with the base guitars, his fav Bands posters. She got her GR shot glasses as a gift from Arun. He bought a ” motivational poster “. It may sound bit orthodox, coz it is. His mum said ” you are not going to stare at these devils pics” staring at the various rock bands wall posters. Me and my cuz just looked at each other and laughed!! But i just realize how the values and principles are different in different places.
We walked up and down few times to locate the toilet. Later we got some tickets for ” SPLIT” and headed to MexiCo. http://www.mexicorestaurants.co.uk/derby
A nice Mexican themed with an open Kitchen. We both ended up ordering some vegetarian burritos, cuz and aunt ordered beef & chicken burritos too. It was yummy!!
Mexico Veg Burritos
The best one was the MANGO & PASSIONFRUIT SLUSHY . Out of 10 we give 9 to Mexico.It took a while for the food preps and we lost about 10 mins of the movie. I hated it,but there was no option left. The movie was also awesome. Another Psycho thriller from N Syamalan. It makes you think latest once that “you can be what you want”!
By 10ish we left from Derby. Another three hour drive back to Maidstone. We still had some sparks left from the day before, which we cleared off in the wrong exits. 😛
But we realized how the level of joy goes up when we have some topics to discuss.
Until Next one,
à plus (French- See you)!!
Originally published at www.kapparte.com on March 16, 2017.
After the last update, we were tied up with the usual daily life…
So we decided to go for a drive to blue water in Dartford. The day was a bit “gray”. That’s how we call the depressive weather days. 😛
The funniest experience from our previous visit to BW a few months ago was, finding the car. We walked about 2 miles around BW as we didn’t take the parking lot no. But this time we got the no and the level of parking.
I had a work related visit to the Three store BW, within 5 minutes it was done. Later we had a hot chocolate with a fudge from EAT. That fudge was really yummy. I forgot to take a photo… Errr.
We did some window shopping, the best was at Clintons where Lidia stopped and went back to her childhood memories. They had few musical toys for several occasions. We both played few of those songs and left out from the outside world.
Then we jumped into the Disney store… Woooow that was super cool. A lot of our characters from cartoons such as Mickey and Minney was there. We got lost at Star Wars toys section.
Trooper With Lidia
By the time we watched a lot of shop windows; we came to the usual chat. “Shall we have food or not? “
The typical me replied “Hmmm Maybe, or shall we go home and eat? “.
By that time we already passed a nice restaurant with a rural type interior setup.
She replied ” Well we don’t go out that often, that restaurant looks really nice.”
Inside me ” Yes, of course, it has to be, that’s why they pay lot more money in advertisement and interior decoration. Their money worked”!! 😉
With a second thought, I replied, ” Yes, let’s go and check the menu”. While we were checking the menu we both had a lot of salivae piling up in our mouth. Suddenly we realized we can’t eat Meat.
Oh I forgot to mention, we decided to avoid all red meat from Jan1 2017 till our wedding anniversary ie, April 17 2017. We gulped the saliva suddenly and still decided to go for the food.
We loved the interior design, very rural Lebanese style setup with homely felt chairs and tables. The kitchen was designed for the customers to see how they cook. One Lebanese guy came and asked for food choice. He asked whether it was out first visit? We smiled and said yes it is!!.We politely asked him to come back in few minutes.
So this is what we ordered.
Fresh Rose Mint Tea
Pita bread and Hummus
Me with Aubergine fry
Lidia wit falafel & rose mint Tea
This is the link to the restaurant website. https://www.comptoirlibanais.com/menu/bluewater/main/
Total we spent about £38.00 for a 2-course Meal. The last pic you can see how empty it is. We both loved the atmosphere and food.The Falafel was very delicious. It tasted as of Lentil Snack “Parippuvada” from Kerala, India. I am not a big fan of Aubergine, but this dish i loved it. It was a bit oily though. Today was the day i realized Hummous was made from chick peas !!!
Specially the rose Mint Tea was the hit from this day. Out of 10 we give 9 for the food.
After the Veg meals, we walked a bit more and hit few paper shops such as Kikki, Paper chase etc. Later we found this ad displayed near to the escalator.We didn’t believe it first, then I said “Well, I want to take a snap of it!!
There you go. 🙂 FUND YOUR STARTUP like this??
21st Century Ads
This time ,we found the car quickly and drove home…
Next adventure is to Blue Bell Hill. Scary stories heard but beautiful…
Happy Valentines day in advance.
Until next one!!
Originally published at www.kapparte.com on February 9, 2017.